67b

VII · Rejected briefs

Twelve briefs, twelve polite nos.

A register of imaginary commissions an imaginary 67b didn't take — either because it shouldn't have, couldn't have, or, once in a while, badly wanted to but didn't get the chance.

  1. RB-001 Anonymous municipal council, Home Counties

    Ask: Rebrand a 180-year-old public library as a 'community engagement hub'.

    Reason: We suggested they keep the library a library. They didn't reply.

  2. RB-002 A gallerist, Mayfair

    Ask: Logo for a new gallery that 'combines NFTs with traditional oil painting'.

    Reason: Politely declined. Ate biscuits. Walked home.

  3. RB-003 A fintech, Shoreditch

    Ask: Annual report 'but, like, irreverent. Fun. Cool, not corporate.'

    Reason: Annual reports are not cool. That is the entire genre.

  4. RB-004 A speculative distillery, Kent

    Ask: Identity including bottle, label, and 'social-first launch'.

    Reason: Nothing about a distillery should be social-first.

  5. RB-005 A venture firm, Marylebone

    Ask: Redesign the firm's logo so it looks 'more like an art gallery, less like a bank'.

    Reason: It is, however, a bank.

  6. RB-006 A bookshop, Hay-on-Wye

    Ask: Shopfront signage and interior wayfinding.

    Reason: We would have taken this one. They wrote again to say they'd decided to do it themselves with an iPad. They were right to.

  7. RB-007 A museum, Midlands

    Ask: Exhibition catalogue for a retrospective of a photographer we admire deeply.

    Reason: We begged. They chose a London agency. The catalogue is beautiful. We still sulk.

  8. RB-008 A tech conference, San Francisco

    Ask: Wayfinding for 8,000 attendees, 14 rooms, 3 days.

    Reason: The conference does not, we suspect, need signage. It needs fewer rooms.

  9. RB-009 A political campaign, undisclosed

    Ask: Identity. Urgent.

    Reason: We do not work on political campaigns. This remains true even when the politics are sympathetic.

  10. RB-010 A crypto exchange, Zug

    Ask: Complete redesign 'to look like a Swiss bank from the seventies'.

    Reason: It is not, in fact, a Swiss bank from the seventies. But also we were curious.

  11. RB-011 A restaurant, Edinburgh

    Ask: Menu design, bi-monthly print run, 12pp.

    Reason: We proposed 4pp, letterpress, monthly. They wanted a QR code on each dish. We amicably diverged.

  12. RB-012 A fashion house, Milan

    Ask: Press release system for seasonal lookbooks.

    Reason: We don't speak enough Italian, and they don't seem to need us. Both true.

Things we'd take without blinking.

  • A museum retrospective catalogue, 160pp, Smyth-sewn.
  • A book of essays by one author, slipcased, numbered.
  • A typeface commission for a civic institution.
  • Wayfinding for a single floor of a public building.
  • An annual report for a small trust with too much money.
  • A specimen catalogue for a foundry we already admire.

None of these have come in. Hence, in part, this website.

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